What happens when a child refuses contact with a parent in Poland?

Divorce where children are involved is never straightforward. Once the court has established a contact arrangement, a new challenge can arise: what if the child simply does not want to see one of their parents? Does it suffice for a seven-year-old to say “I don’t want to go to dad’s” and the contact stops? Or is there something deeper behind the refusal – something that requires careful analysis and a response from the court?

Table of contents

1. The right to contact – an obligation on both sides
2. A child’s refusal of contact – what does it mean legally?
3. When does a child’s refusal carry real weight with the court?
4. Parental alienation – when the problem lies elsewhere
5. When will the court restrict or prohibit contact?
6. What can a parent do when their child refuses contact?
7. FAQ

The right to contact – an obligation on both sides

The starting point is Article 113 § 1 of the Family and Guardianship Code (Kodeks rodzinny i opiekuńczy), which provides that regardless of parental authority, both parents and their child have the right and the obligation to maintain contact with each other. This sentence is frequently cited but rarely fully understood – the obligation falls on both sides of the relationship, on the parent and on the child alike.

The right to contact with a child is therefore not simply a privilege of the parent – it is also the child’s right to a relationship with both of their parents. Family courts proceed from the premise that a child’s healthy development requires the presence of both parents in their life, even where those parents live separately. The parents’ separation should not mean the child loses their connection with either of them.

A child’s refusal of contact – what does it mean legally?

This is where the matter becomes more nuanced. The bare fact that a child “does not want” contact is not an automatic ground for restricting or suspending it. The court cannot – and should not – uncritically accept a child’s stated position as a reliable expression of their genuine interests, particularly where the child is young.

Polish law does not set a fixed age threshold at which a child’s views become binding. The court assesses individually the child’s level of maturity, their capacity for independent judgment, and – crucially – the reasons behind the refusal. The legal weight of a refusal by a ten-year-old with well-founded concerns about a parent is quite different from the refusal of a six-year-old who is repeating what they hear at home from the other parent.

When does a child’s refusal carry real weight with the court?

The court takes a child’s refusal of contact seriously above all where there are objective, substantiated reasons behind it. These may include a history of physical or psychological abuse by the parent, serious neglect, addiction problems, or distressing behaviour during contact visits. In such cases the child’s refusal is a signal to the court – but it still requires verification through expert psychological assessment.

An older child (broadly: school age and above) has increasing influence on the court’s decisions. A mature, considered, and consistent refusal, supported by a psychological evaluation, may form the basis for varying the contact order. The court has no mechanism for physically compelling a child to have contact with a parent where the refusal is categorical and stems from genuine, substantiated grounds.

Parental alienation – when the problem lies elsewhere

One of the most common scenarios in family cases is one in which the child’s reluctance to see a parent results not from the child’s own experiences but from what they hear from the other parent. Negative commentary, ridicule, scaremongering, repeated suggestions to the child that the other parent is harmful or dangerous – all of this leads to parental alienation.

Family courts are treating this problem with increasing seriousness. Where the expert psychological assessment establishes that the child’s reluctance stems from alienating conduct by one parent, this may form the basis not only for changing how contact is exercised (for example, by introducing a psychologist) but also for restricting the parental authority of the alienating parent.

For a parent who is experiencing a child’s refusal of contact and suspects that this results from the other parent’s conduct, the appropriate response is to apply to the court for a variation of the contact arrangements or for an assessment by forensic psychologists.

When will the court restrict or prohibit contact?

The court has a broad range of tools available. Under Article 113² § 1 of the Family and Guardianship Code, it may restrict contact in a variety of ways: requiring the parent to meet the child only in the presence of a court-appointed officer, a psychologist, or the other parent; prohibiting the parent from taking the child away from their place of residence; limiting contact to specific forms of communication only.

In extreme cases – where contact poses a serious threat to the child’s welfare, physical health, or psychological wellbeing – the court may entirely prohibit contact under Article 113³ of the Family and Guardianship Code. Such a prohibition is not, however, permanent and irreversible – it can be lifted once the circumstances that gave rise to it have ceased.

In our experience, a complete prohibition of contact is a measure courts apply cautiously and rarely. The child’s welfare is typically protected through a change in the conditions under which contact takes place rather than its complete elimination, unless the circumstances are truly serious.

What can a parent do when their child refuses contact?

Above all: do not give up, and act through the court rather than unilaterally. Attempting to force contact against the child’s expressed wishes may have the opposite effect and deepen their resistance.

An application to vary the manner in which contact is exercised – for example, to introduce psychological supervision – is filed with the family and juvenile division of the district court (sąd rejonowy, wydział rodzinny i nieletnich) with jurisdiction over the child’s place of residence. It is worth attaching to the application documentation of the attempts at contact that have been made. Where alienation is suspected, an application for assessment by the Court Expert Opinion Team (OZSS) should also be considered.

Family mediation can be a valuable complement to court proceedings – particularly where the child’s refusal stems from conflict between the parents that could be resolved without the need for a full court hearing.

FAQ

Can a child independently refuse contact with a parent? A child does not make legally binding decisions about contact – the court does, guided by the child’s best interests. The child’s refusal is, however, a significant circumstance that the court takes into account, particularly in the case of older and more mature children.

What consequences can a parent face for blocking contact on the basis of the child’s refusal? Where a contact order is in force and a parent uses the child’s stated refusal as a pretext for blocking contact, they may be subject to enforcement proceedings under Article 598¹⁵ of the Code of Civil Procedure. The court may order that parent to pay a specified sum for each breach of the contact order.

How does the court assess whether a child’s refusal is genuine? Most commonly through an expert report from forensic psychologists at the Court Expert Opinion Team (OZSS), who assess both the child and both parents. The experts evaluate whether the refusal stems from the child’s own genuine experiences and considered judgment, or whether it reflects the influence of one of the parents.

Can the contact order be varied if the child refuses to attend visits? Yes. Under Article 113⁵ of the Family and Guardianship Code, the court may vary a contact order where the child’s welfare requires it. The variation may involve changing the form of contact (for example, introducing psychological supervision), restricting contact, or – in extreme cases – prohibiting it altogether.

Can a child’s refusal of contact affect parental authority? Yes. Where the court establishes that one parent has been deliberately alienating the child from the other, this may provide grounds for restricting that parent’s parental authority. This requires full evidence proceedings and typically an expert psychological report.

I am a foreign national – do these rules apply to my situation in Poland? Yes. Where the child is habitually resident in Poland, Polish courts have jurisdiction over contact matters and the rules described in this article apply regardless of the parents’ nationality. If one parent lives outside Poland, questions of cross-border enforcement of contact orders may arise. These situations are fact-specific and legal advice tailored to the individual circumstances is recommended.

What is the difference between restricting contact and prohibiting it entirely? Restriction means contact continues but under changed conditions – for example, only in the presence of a psychologist, only in a designated location, or only by video call. Prohibition means contact ceases entirely. Restriction is the default response; total prohibition is reserved for cases where any form of contact would pose a genuine risk to the child’s welfare.

Your child is refusing contact with you, or you are concerned about the other parent’s conduct? Call: +48 531 335 713 or email: kancelaria@prawnikodrozwodu.pl

This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every family law case is individual and requires analysis of the specific facts and documents involved. The law firm accepts no liability for actions taken on the basis of the information contained in this article. For advice tailored to your situation, please contact our office.

Kancelaria Prawa Rodzinnego (Family Law Office): Adwokat Michalina Koligot, Adwokat Marta Krzyżanowicz, Adwokat Anna Konrady, Radca prawny Joanna Jędrzejewska ul. Mickiewicza 18a/3, 60-834 Poznań | tel. +48 531 335 713 | kancelaria@prawnikodrozwodu.pl | www.prawnikodrozwodu.pl